How Master Coaches Ask Better Questions (Transcript)
In my coaching conversations, I use a skill called reflective inquiry.
This is a more advanced technique, but if you want to become a master coach, it’s essential to understand this: powerful questions come after we reflect back what we’ve heard our clients say.
Let me give you an example.
First, you listen carefully to what the client is saying. Then, you reflect back what you heard.
As you listen to your own reflection, the question will naturally arise from that reflection.
For example, you might say to a client:
“I’m hearing you say that at work you feel like you keep hitting a brick wall, and you sound very frustrated by that.”
As I hear myself reflect this back to the client, the next question comes directly from that reflection. I might say:
“I’m curious—what does it feel like to keep hitting a brick wall?” Or, “What would it feel like to break through that brick wall?” Or simply, “Say more about your frustration.”
These are two of the most powerful words in coaching: say more.
I’ve noticed that it’s actually an advanced coaching skill to say less and allow your client to say more. Sometimes, “say more” is all you need to say. You don’t need a long or complex question. It’s simply an invitation.
Sometimes I’ll use small, simple prompts—just a few words—to keep the client going.
This is how powerful questions are asked.
They don’t come from a list. While it can be helpful to collect good coaching questions—and I know mentors who do this—your most powerful questions won’t come from memorization.
They come from what the client has shared, your reflection back to them, and your natural curiosity about what you’ve heard.
The most powerful questions arise when we’re genuinely curious.
That curiosity is a defining trait of a master coach.
It’s about becoming deeply interested in what people are saying. If someone says, “I went on vacation last week—I was in the Bahamas,” a curious response might be, “I’ve never been there. What does it look like?”
That natural curiosity guides your questions.
As a master coach, I also try to ask questions my clients don’t already know the answers to.
As a coach educator, I listen to many coaching conversations, and I often hear coaches asking questions their clients already know how to answer. Those questions don’t tend to evoke insight. They don’t create new awareness or learning.
Instead, try to ask questions your clients don’t know the answer to.
One of the best things a client can say is, “That’s a great question—I don’t know.”
Because when that happens, they start thinking.
And that’s our role as coaches. We are thinking partners. We are thought provokers.
When clients have to think, new awareness begins to emerge. Otherwise, they simply recount events—what they did, where they went—without much insight.
Master coach Dr. Marshall Reynolds explains that when a coach asks a question after providing a reflection, the question is more likely to arise from curiosity rather than memory.
Coaching, she says, should be a process of inquiry—not a series of questions.
Questions seek answers.
Inquiry provokes insight.
When we’re searching for the perfect question, we’re often not really listening to our clients.
This is another advanced coaching skill, and it’s worth pausing on.
Many coaches ask a series of questions because they want answers. But when you engage in inquiry, you’re looking for insight.
So the next time you’re in a coaching conversation, remind yourself:
“I’m not seeking answers. I’m provoking insight.”
Stay in the conversation. Questions will come and go. Let them come, and let them go.
If you become fixated on the question—thinking about it, rehearsing it—you stop listening.
And deep listening is an advanced coaching skill.
It’s more important to listen deeply to what your client is saying than to ask the perfect, polished question.